31 MAY
HUG AND UNHUG YOUR CHILD
“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” (Deuteronomy 4:9)
As we learn life’s lessons, let us teach our children from our experiences, in line with the Word. Let us lay right examples that will be copied and not just words to be obeyed. Let’s have family traditions that we pass on to our children. It doesn’t have to be only the “big” things – integrity, wisdom, diligence, truth, etc. – that teach them the fear of the Lord; it may just be the little things like our family’s Saturday breakfast of pancakes and sausages. My children, Obi and Chi, just joked the other day that they have all continued with our Saturday breakfast in their homes. Simple things like that will remind them of their roots and all other things the family stands for.
Let us be clear and distinct in ways that our teachings will be understood. Let us not be like the father who, in trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol, put one worm in a glass of water and another in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died. “All right, son,” asked the father, “what does that show you?” “Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.”
Let us demonstrate our love to our children always: praise them when they do well and do not hesitate to correct them when they are off track. But more importantly, do not be overprotective. Give them opportunities to practise what you have taught them. Polly Berrien Berends says: “A child needs both to be hugged and unhugged. The hug lets her know she is valuable. The “unhugging” lets her know that she is viable. If you’re always shoving your child away, they will cling to you for love. If you’re always holding them closer, they will cling to you for fear.”
ACTION: Show children love in action, in obedience and disobedience.
PRAYER: Father, please teach us to teach and love our children right.